Slam Dunk Central

What can we say about the Miami Heat? They are down right embarrassing. It is a well known fact that Shaq’s favorite burger joint in LA was In and Out. Since I was a resident of the West Coast for a short while I know how amazing the double-double “animal style” burger is. If you don’t believe me, ask Paris Hilton! She got one of her infamous DUI’s driving to In and Out. Since Shaq has moved back to the sunshine state he has been pitching for Burger King. The obese man we see on the court today is directly related to Burger King’s Whopper. Let’s just compare the basics. The Double Double is a mere 520 calories while the Whopper is a massive 760 calories! Combine that with Shaq being on the wrong side of 30 and we can see why it is all going to his waistline. Now that I have solved the mystery of Shaq’s weight lets get down to basketball.

It is no secret that Shaq has slowed and is becoming more of a hindrance on the floor. He has given up on being a defensive force and is a shadow of the offensive player he once was. His 20 million in salary is a HUGE elephant that even the great Pat Riley can’t get off his back. This year he is averaging 14 PPG and 28 MIN, and has missed the last 7 games due to injury. Even during the championship run in 2005 one could see Shaquille’s decline. That year, he missed 23 games and averaged 20PPG, a far cry from his Lakers glory days. Now that the Heat are out of contention (barring a miracle) they must look to rebuild. Dwayne Wade is the foundation Reilly must build upon. This gets tricky though as Dwayne is already 25. This gives Riley a 2 to 3 year window to furnish a contender. Wade takes great punishment going to the basket and has already had two serious surgeries. This limits his shelf life and his years of amazing eye popping production. Wade’s numbers are returning but those great finishing dunks have yet to resurface.

The good news is that Riley has realized he cannot handle both roles as coach and GM. He is stepping down as coach after this season and is returning to the front office. This enables him to focus on the rebuilding of this franchise. Being in the NBA for 20+ years taught Riley a few things. One of which is the amount of work it takes to save a franchise on the verge of destruction. Ricky Davis and Udonis Haslem have value. Haslem excels handling the dirty work. He may be undersized as a 4 but he is averaging 9 RPG and 13 PPG. His energy helps him to scrap for those rebounds and his extra effort garners him the opportunity to score. NBA teams definitely value Haslem’s attributes. Davis is a gunner. He can score. That much is understood. He has been a disappointment for the Heat this year. Coming from Minnesota he seemed to be a player. After watching Ricky in Miami I have realized he comes up small. Just look at the Dallas game a week ago. All he had to do was finish a finger roll and the Heat could have won. Davis just isn’t the same impact player that he was in Timberwolves country. I would look to package them for a big man.

With Shaq’s contract putting a stranglehold on the salary cap, and Mourning most likely done as a professional athlete, Riley is left with nothing in the middle. Even an average 7 footer like Dalembert would help to solidify the center position for the Heat. Since obtaining a 7 footer is difficult, Shaq must lose 20-30 lbs to win. Andre Iguodala is tired of losing in Philadelphia. He has made that painfully obvious in the last couple days. Since he is on the last year of his contract the 76ers could do a sign and trade with Miami for Haslem. The Heat could get away with Daquan Cook at the point. Granted, he isn’t your prototypical ball handler ut with Wade and Iggy on your team you don’t need a true point guard. Imagine Cook, Wade, Iguodala, Haslem, and O’Neal (25 lbs lighter) as your starting five. Then you can have Davis as your sixth man. Ricky is more suited for the sixth man spot, as he can bring instant offense coming off the bench. This team could be competitive enough to make a playoff run and help remove some of the tarnish from Riley’s legacy. At the very least, it would give Riley some time to replenish the franchise via the draft. In the meantime, I strongly urge all true Miami Heat fans to show Shaq your displeasure by uniting behind a BK Boycott! I am also putting out a plea for Harvey Walden the trainer of Celebrity Fit Club to make an urgent house call!

Stumble it!